Heart of Adoption

Just a little bit.

2010-04-23T16:53:00.001-04:00

Misgana has a cute little way of asking for something and then saying, "just a little bit." It has taken on a life of its own.
Here she is... enjoy.

One year of seeing her face.

2010-04-01T08:43:00.003-04:00

Today is the one year anniversary of getting Misgana's referral. A year ago we wondered if the moment would ever come and then there she was!

She has been home with us now for around 8 months and is doing amazing. She loves school and learns so quickly. Her English is great and she smiles a lot.

Misgana has been a blessing and has changed our lives. Our hope is that she will know how much God loves her and she can rest easy in our love.

She has faced much loss and so today also brings remembering issues from her past that we walk through together.

So today we thank God for Misgana and for those who cared for her before she entered our home.

Here is the first picture we received a year ago:

Here she is more recently with Autumn:

Thanks to God. We love you little Miss!

School

2010-02-06T12:36:00.004-05:00

Misgana is doing very well in school. She has made a number of friends and is beginning to open up more. The school has been great in making it a wonderful transition for her.
Here are some pics of her first day.

The only person not happy to see Misgana go to school was her little brother Will who missed her terrible and you can see his reaction to her at school below... cute.

Misgana is going to SCHOOL!!

2010-01-21T16:04:00.002-05:00

Hip Hip Hooray!! Misgana is starting young five's next week Tues. She is so excited, she has been counting down how many sleeps until school. We are at 5 sleeps until school starts!
Today we went in during class time for her to meet her teacher and her other classmates. They were so wonderful to her. Several girls ran up to her to say Hi. One boy had to take her over to see the big blocks. She looked to me a few times but was beaming with joy(not fear)each time. She played in the kitchen, checked out her cubby and found where to hang up her coat, all with 2-3 girls leading the way. What a blessing!!
I am so excited for her, she is just ripe for learning and making friends of her own. Our school has been so supportive and encouraging through this decision. It is so nice to know that great people are teaching our kids.
We will update next week, hopefully with pics!
Friends of ours are picking up their daughter in ET now and we cannot wait to see them. Their daughter and Misgana were friends at the orphanage. Hopefully Misgana will remember some Amharic to talk with Kidist, we may have to tell her some words to say, how weird is that?
I have to say all in all we are adjusting nicely. There have been some trying times but that seems to be the nature of the beast, the beast called parenting (parenting 4 kids no less).
We are praying for some health issues with Misgana. We should have some answers in the next few months. We have a great Dr. and are thankful for the excellent care at DeVos Children's Hospital.
We will try to be better at updating our journey but what can I say we are slackers!!

Misgana's first real snow...

2009-12-04T21:56:00.002-05:00

Misgana really likes playing in the snow. Her first experience with snow even included making a snow ball and throwing it! She still says, "America cold." Now she really gets to see just how cold it can get.

Lots of firsts!

Kid's Hope

2009-11-28T11:16:00.001-05:00

I mentor a 3rd grade boy. I'm amazed at how much a difference is made from such little, but faithful and intentional time.

Check out the video. My friend Scott is trying to get a million people to watch it - so please pass it on!

Thanks!
Steve

"Happy" Halloween?

2009-10-31T09:36:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we hung out at our kid's elementary school and watched the Halloween costume parade. There are a lot of freaky ones and then the classic 'boy dressed as a girl' costume. Anyways - the parade had become old hat for us, but it was Misgana's first taste of Halloween and costumes. Our kids play dress up, but these costumes were much different and some of them were scary (not to us adults of course). :)

Misgana quietly observed the kids coming and going in their get-ups and didn't say a word. She was still - reserved - trying to fade into the background - probably a little excited/nervous.

Halloween looks mighty bizarre to her. Wait until she gets a bunch of candy (most of which she will not like) from our neighbors.

How many other traditions in our culture will look bizarre and downright scary to her? Santa's lap? Easter Bunny?

Anyways - the adventure of looking through her eyes makes us re-look at our lives and culture in a whole new way.

Have a great and safe Halloween -

Some Florida Pics

2009-10-21T00:33:00.003-04:00

Milk anyone?

The only picture of our WHOLE family... nearly impossible!

Enjoying the aquarium... ASA = Fish

Some Pics to chew on...

2009-10-19T19:27:00.006-04:00

Misgana having her hair braided by Aster, who did awesome as usual!

Miss, Harrison, and Will rockin.

Misgana and her buddy Amy Sue Selame. They were in the orphanage together as friends and now in West Michigan together.

First glimpse...

2009-09-29T23:26:00.005-04:00

On April 1st of this year we received this pic over email of our little Misgana. This was the first picture we saw of her and we studied every detail and wondered who was behind these little eyes...

Now it is has been almost six months since receiving this picture and almost two months home... here she is...

The miracle of love, family, and change is beautiful.

What is your name?

2009-09-23T23:44:00.002-04:00

A name is powerful.

Here she is telling you her name with her new middle (Marie) and last name (Deur). (For those who are out of the Ethiopian adoption loop - people in Ethiopia use their father's name as a second name.)

Misgana means "thankful" and we are thankful for the opportunity to be in her life. :)

Misgana dancing... meets the wall.

2009-09-19T10:06:00.001-04:00

Misgana loves to walk around in the bath robe and do little dances. This time she gets a little love from the house.

Gotta love her laugh. Enjoy.

Beach time.

2009-09-05T11:56:00.003-04:00

We got to the beach at least one more time before the fall comes and slams the door on such experiences. Misgana is gaining in confidence and is much more vocal with us. We are amazed at the progress she is making as we reflect on when we first met her. Thanks be to God. Thanks for all the prayers - we still need them - BIG TIME. :)

The braiding queen.

2009-09-02T11:50:00.003-04:00

I think Harrison is rethinking his decision to grow his hair out a bit. Misgana gets a hold of it and makes it pretty. Harrison is a good sport, but thinks it's painful! :)

Holy Shnikes, we have 4 kids!!

2009-09-01T22:17:00.002-04:00

This morning I felt that I was living in the "Cheaper By the Dozen" movie. We all had to get ready to go to school to meet the teacher. We had all morning but, Oh my, it was crazy here. I am not even sure why it was crazy, it just was!
A few things that I am thinking lately: we are going to need to get a membership to Sam's Club (can't keep food in the house, this may be more due to the boys, but Misgana can eat!), We are flying through toilet paper, like a roll and a half a day(what are they doing with it?), we need a bigger bed (Misgana has decided to sleep with us), I need to go to bed earlier (like before 8), our house shrunk while we were in ET (we prefer cozy so that's ok). I have a few more thoughts but, OH, they're gone now!
All that being said we are doing very well!! The bio kids are absolutely in love with their sister! We have been so proud of how they have risen to the occasion to welcome Misgana and also adapt to our new family. Misgana is also growing so much everyday. She is understanding so much more everyday. She is exerting her will also. She really likes the word "No". We are not too frustrated with it, however, it is good to see her have an opinion and engage in family life. Talk to me next week I may be frustrated then! She is very silly. Her humour is so much like the rest of us. I am amazed, that this child born so far from here, from us, could fit us so perfectly. Of course, it is God! He orchestrated this family from the beginning when children were just twinkles in our eye.
I often think Holy Schnikes we did it, we adopted our girl, we have 4 kids!! OH MY!!
Vicki

Food

2009-08-27T22:56:00.002-04:00

Misgana is eating... quite a bit. And she eats... and eats... and eats... She has graduated to such staples as chicken nuggets (doro) and mac n cheese. She adores french fries and slams down hummus with bread, tortilla chips, and tortillas.

She also takes time to suck down a Flintstone vitamin.

Thanks to all who have been praying for her eating - she is certainly taking great strides.

She also has opened up more about naming friends from the orphanage as we look at pictures. We are writing them down. We are having little break through moments connecting, but it will be a journey.

Thanks again!

Congrats to Fisherfam!

2009-08-26T15:47:00.002-04:00

Congrats to Chris, Michelle, and the Fisher kiddos on the referral of a four year old girl from Ethiopia! We are so excited for you guys!!!

Follow their journey HERE

It was Chris and Michelle who invited us to participate in a fundraiser earlier this year and they have been such encouragers as they have endured the wait. Now it is their turn! Praise God!

Kitchen Aid

2009-08-25T22:28:00.003-04:00

Vicki and Misgana share a bonding moment around smashing up tomatoes. The garden comes through to make the heart connections.

First Morning

2009-08-20T22:56:00.002-04:00

Here is a picture of Misgana's first morning with us in Ethiopia. She woke up smiling. :)

First Contact

2009-08-18T14:54:00.002-04:00

This is a picture of the moment we met Misgana at her orphanage. It was rainy and we were surprised to be able to meet her and take her back to our guest house. It all is a wonderful blur of emotions.

She is doing great and eating well. She digs hummus and guacamole and bacon. Interesting combo that works!

HOME

2009-08-15T21:36:00.004-04:00

The pictures say it all...

Thanking God.

The Eagle has landed... Again.

2009-08-14T16:10:00.001-04:00

Good news!
We are home!

Today Misgana ate very well and she played well with Autumn.

The doctors felt good about the progress she made and sent us packing.

DeVos Children’s Hospital is incredible, but your prayers really moved us – thanks!

So now we are getting adjusted to home life.

Thanks to all of you and praise God for His work among us.

We’ll keep you posted.

Bacon bits

2009-08-14T10:19:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was a tough day. Misgana was making good progress and then we hit some tests that tested her trust in us. She is such a strong little girl - amazing.

Today she woke up perky and connecting well with our oldest daughter Autumn. She ate a banana, some cheerios, and even a little bacon! This is great because if her eating and drinking improves we can hopefully get home.

We are praying and hoping to get home today... we'll see.

She's starting to talk a little which is nice. She has the cutest little tiny high scratchy voice. Love that little lady!

On a side note - I (Steve) am preaching this Sunday - should be interesting following a week in Ethiopia and then a week at DeVos Children's Hospital. Looking forward to seeing many of our faith family members. If we are home I expect Vicki to hang at home with Misgana as she continues to recover and I'll take the other kiddos to our gathering.

Have a great day!

We are thanking God for His faithfulness.

A light...

2009-08-13T16:12:00.002-04:00

Thanks for praying, encouraging, and supporting our family.

Misgana has made good progress and the doctors are thinking we may be able to come home tomorrow. This is possible IF she continues to eat and drink better.

She just got done having a feeding tube for an UPPER GI test. They didn't see any blockages or any significantly sized parasites. They'll continue to look, but for now she is doing better.

The feeding tube moment lost us some good momentum with her, but it'll get us out of here and give us answers so we don't have to come back. God willing.

Anyways - the kids are coming up soon so I hope she stays awake to say hello to them. So far she's slept through two visits with the other kiddos... :)

Thanks again!

Good Morning!

2009-08-12T11:40:00.003-04:00

Today has been a great morning. Misgana slept through the blood draw, which required two pokes, so thankfully she missed it! She has been awake all morning, she has eaten some Cherrioes, little banana, had her first bath and has been smiling and playful. Big change in her behaviour! Her labs have not improved so we need her to eat and drink today so we can avoid a feeding tube tomorrow. The upper GI is set for tomorrow as well.
Steve is heading out to GoJo, a local Ethiopian restaurant, to pick up some food that may be appealing to her.
Please be praying that she will eat and drink today.
The three amigos at home are doing well, I just think they are ready for life to return to normal. They will come up today and hopefully get some good time with Misgana while she is awake.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, we can feel 'em!

Update on the Mis...

2009-08-11T16:12:00.002-04:00

She is doing better today. She has been awake a little bit more than yesterday, so that is great. I think she is getting a little grumpy with us and all the tests. Grumpy is better than nothing, though!!
We do know she has parasites, which is very common, and we treated her for that while in ET. Looks like we'll need to treat that again. They want to do an upper GI Wed. morn. (which not sure how that is going to go over with her) this will help determine the extent of the parasites. They are still trying to see if something else is causing the extreme diarrhea. Looks like we will be in DeVos for another 3-5 days. We will have a translator here tomorrow which will be very helpful.
It seems that things are improving. Thanks for praying and the help you all have provided. You can be praying that she would begin to take fluids orally, that she would be willing to drink the stuff for the Upper GI, that they find a vein on the first try when they take blood and that she would have peace in her heart through all of this.
Looking forward to everyone getting to know the spunky little sweet girl we have.

Misgana update

2009-08-10T22:54:00.002-04:00

Hey - this is Steve Deur just giving an update...

DeVos Children's Hospital kept her overnight. Hopefully for only one night, but they have to see some good improvement. The tests coming back are good, but she continues to sleep all the time and is lethargic.

Vicki is staying up there tonight and I'm home with the three kiddos who desperately want to get to know their sister!

This has been very difficult and hasn't been the homecoming we imagined. However, we are praying and asking God to wake her up to her spunky self tomorrow. Please join us in praying for her healing.

Thanks! Thanks also to those who have been such great encouragers, prayer partners, and servants on our behalf.

Update...

2009-08-10T15:48:00.002-04:00

The hospital is going to keep Misgana overnight... Steve & Vicki will be staying there with her. They're right now doing a spinal tap to rule our meningitis. You can only imagine what this little girl is going through in her heart in mind. Welcome to the USA.

Again, the Deur's needs are taken care of for now, but they need the prayer support.

PRAYER!

2009-08-10T12:31:00.003-04:00

Hey Everyone...

Could you please be praying for Misgana right now. They are taking her to DeVos Children's Hospital. She has not been eating anything for the past several days, so Misgana is dehydrated and they're concerned for her health. They will be making sure she gets an IV for fluids and nutrients, but they want to rule out any other physical problems.

The kids are being taken care of by Nana Hutt and they have plenty of food. There's no need to stop by and check on them at this time... they really need to just settle in a take the time to get to know each other. So the only thing they could really use right now is a bunch of us going to God on their behalf.

Thanks so much!! This is Thompson on behalf of the Deurs. And I would would always worry about me breaking into your personal blog by guessing your password.

almost there...

2009-08-09T14:00:00.002-04:00

We are in Dayton, OH waiting to board a plane to Chicago and then hope to be on United 7435 to Grand Rapids. We are supposed to come in around 7:45 pm.

The trip has gone smoothly because Misgana has slept almost the entire time. Sleep is a major coping device, but it makes travel easier.

Please pray for her and us. She has been quiet and not feeling like eating and we are trying to have wisdom on how to respond.

Thanks for following the journey.

heading home

2009-08-08T01:45:00.001-04:00

Today is our last day... We are laying low and getting stuff organized.

Misgana is doing well, but she is very very very shy, but trusts Vicki.

I think I just look like a big hairy monster. :) But she does enjoy
watching Sesame Street with me.

Tonight we leave at 10:15 pm (allegedly) and so we will be home (again
allegedly) at 7:45 pm from Chicago Sunday night to Grand Rapids.

Time to go!

Thanks again!

Pray for safe travels, sleep and trust for Misgana, and good bonding.

Big fat day

2009-08-06T11:45:00.001-04:00

Misgana is feeling better, but still has many times of being quiet.
She has deep thoughts going on. We were able to go to her orphanage
today and she was able to say goodbye to her good friends. This was
an amazing experience. We prayed for all the orphans there with them
that God would find them a family. (Any takers?) :)

We are planning on flying home Saturday night here so we will be home
(allegedly) at around 7:45 pm Sunday night at Grand Rapids airport.

You are welcome to see us, but no pressure because we will not have a
lot of time to chat - but we'd love to see you.

Thanks for praying! We need it.

Also pray for friends here who are adopting. They hit a snag and it
will take them a bit longer. Pray for Garland and Melissa that they
will be able to get home soon. Very difficult.

Love you all. We are loving Ethiopia, but miss you.

Peace

Misgana

2009-08-05T13:24:00.001-04:00

Before bed...

Prayer for Misgana

2009-08-05T11:18:00.001-04:00

Hey gang,
Please pray for Misgana. She has not been feeling well. She is
sleeping and it looks like she has the flu or something. We are
trying to lay low and be here for her.

Tomorrow we hope to take her to her orphanage so she can say goodbye -
that will be an important moment so please pray.

Thank you - we love the little lady so much and look forward to
getting her home to the rest of the family.

Thanks again!

inch by inch

2009-08-04T16:47:00.001-04:00

We are spending time with Misgana. She is coming out of her shell and
we are trying to communicate. My study of Amharic has paid off and
when we don't know a word someone is here to help.

The people of Ethiopia have been so friendly and the city of Addis is
full and overflowing with people on the move. truly a big bustling
city.

Misgana seems to be warming up well - especially with Vicki. I play
with a ball with her and try to look for moments of connection. We
are reminding ourselves that this is a life long process and that she
has been and is going through an enormous change that can bring great
senses of loss and pain and even joy.

We heard that she was excited that we were coming. In fact the day we
picked her up she jumped right on the bus ahead of us... like, 'let's
get on with this!' :)

She has a sweet little raspy chirpy voice and even fake pouts to get
her way with me.

When I think about how far we have to go for us to attach and connect
on a new level I just think ahead to the day I'll walk her down the
aisle... and reflect on the journey we've all had together.

She is blessing us and we are thankful for her.

Thanks again and please pray for great moments at the orphanages
tomorrow. It will be a goodbye for Misgana with her friends. Pray
for peace for Misgana and good bonding with us. Also for Autumn,
Harrison, and Will as they are at the cottage with my folks - they are
awesome and we miss them heaps!

PS - the rest of the people here to pic up their kids are amazing and
we thank God that we get to go through this together.

passed

2009-08-04T09:13:00.001-04:00

We passed our embassy date so we are official! Misgana Deur is in the house!

We are totally loving our time with Misgana.

Thanks for praying!

We are safe, having fun, and looking forward to coming home and seeing
the rest of our kiddos and family and friends.

Love you all!

Steve, Vicki and Misgana

Good start

2009-08-03T11:10:00.000-04:00

Last night I (Steve) couldn't sleep well because of the time change, but loved listening to the breathing of Misgana. Vicki and I find ourselves pinching ourselves to make sure this is real. I would use the word surreal but it is over used and my brother in law might tell me I'm using it incorrectly. :)

Misgana woke up smiling today. She also spoke to us. She is a beautiful little lady!

She enjoys the goodies we brought her and she is looking at the pictures of our kids, family, and home.

Today we met all the Bethany staff at their new office. Amazing people - so generous.

We then got pizza and pasta - which was great and then did a little shopping.

Tomorrow is our Embassy Date so be praying that it goes smoothly.

Over all she is opening up and stretching her freedom - we are trying to keep up.

Not a lot of energy to write so I'll just say we are doing well - thanks again to all of you and lots of love!

Steve, Vicki, and Misgana Deur

PS - special love to our kiddos and family!

YES!

2009-08-02T11:37:00.001-04:00

We finally arrived and settled into our guest house. The hosts are wonderful and it has a very family feel. Today we went to an international church and it was amazing.

Following the church gathering we went to eat and found out we could finally visit our children. We rolled up to Gelgela (the orphanage) and found our hearts fluttering. It was raining. We stopped and got out of the shuttle with the other families and this little lady was there amongst the crowd. The little miss. Decked out in a little dress and shivering in the cold.

I think I can tell you her name now - the little "miss" is Misgana and her name means, "thankful." We are incredibly thankful. We passed out suckers and saw her bed and saw her sock monkey we sent and the picture book. We were trying to get her to feel comfortable when we got a call saying we could take her home with us now!

We were blown away - loaded her up and took her with us.

I can not fully describe what we are thinking, but the word miracle and awe come to mind.

So - we are all here with families.

One great bit of news. Misgana has a close friend that speaks her language from the orphanage and a family from Holland (25 min. from us!) They are here picking up their daughters so Misgana will have a friend close by.

First - praise God.

Second - praise God.

Third - our love goes out to our kids! Love you guys and miss you and pray for you every day. We are showing Misgana your pictures.

Fourth - our love and appreciation to our family and friends who have been so supportive of this journey!

Finally - please pray that Misgana opens up. She is very shy, but slowly warming up. She seems good, but this is an ENORMOUS change. Prayers are appreciated and needed.

Thanks and God bless!

We may not have lots of power so I'll post if we can... don't worry about emailing us - just post comments if you'd like.

Reminder we arrive at 7:45 pm on Sunday night in Grand Rapids. :)

Thanks!

Let's try this again...

2009-07-30T23:14:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow morning at 10 am we hope to AGAIN get to Ethiopia.

There are two ways to look at all the delays, detours, and bumps along the way.

We could feel like we are being kept from going and therefore this is all a bad idea...
OR
We could feel like we are in a bigger story filled with adventures and opportunities to be formed into the people God wants us to be and join Him in what He is up to...

We are choosing door number two.

For example: Because we missed our flight we needed to stay at a hotel for two nights. Financially it stinks, but God did some things right before we left to help cover this!

He is ahead of us and He is good.

So pray that tomorrow we actually get to go and also that our eyes would be open to what God is up to.

Thanks
Good night - we have an early morning and a long day ahead.

PS - got to see our kids on Skype tonight - that was awesome. LOVE YOU GUYS!

Waiting

2009-07-30T11:49:00.001-04:00

We would have been landing in Ethiopia in the hour, but instead we are in a hotel near Dulles Airport. The adoption process has felt long, but now it is going to take a little longer...

Ethiopian Airline doesn’t fly out today so we booked a flight tomorrow morning. We’ll arrive (GOD WILLING) in Ethiopia on their Saturday morning.

One quick story:
We encountered a woman yesterday in Newark Airport who was trying to get home. She was disoriented from an international flight and maybe some meds to help her cope. She had trouble walking straight and would just get up and walk away – leaving her bags. We tried to help her get to the right gate and get the right information with all the changes brought on by the bad weather. So we sat next to her for a little while and she got up and left her bags. We noticed her walking around the terminal looking confused and so I decided to take her bags to her in case she got lost. I walked along side her as she was on the people mover and tried to get her attention. She kept walking and started to stumble into the women’s restroom while I was behind her gently trying to get her attention. She kept moving - oblivious. So I stood outside the women’s restroom for what seemed like forever! (Vicki thought this was funny so she took a photo of me waiting – thanks honey.) She came out finally – I gave her her bags and took her to the right gate.

Here is the pic with me waiting at the women’s restroom. Stalking the stumbling woman. :)

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement!

What the?

2009-07-29T17:41:00.001-04:00

We are stuck in New Jersey. Our flight got canceled because of bad storms and we can't get into Washington DC in time to fly out on our scheduled flight. We are being patient, but are disappointed. We are hoping to fly out Friday morning and arrive in Ethiopia on their Saturday morning.

Please pray that we can get into Washington DC tonight.

Thanks!
Steve and Vicki

Ready for lift off.

2009-07-29T09:28:00.001-04:00

We are at the airport in Grand Rapids waiting to board our flight.
Thankful that our kids are being taken care of so well and excited to get to Ethiopia.
Vicki just handed me a piece of gum... She said I needed it.
Thanks!

Go time!

Take off... And coming home.

2009-07-28T23:16:00.001-04:00

We are just putting the finishing touches on packing and weighing bags. It has come down to decisions like, “does peanut butter come along or these jeans?” :)

We leave first thing tomorrow morning and will finally arrive in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia around noon our time Thursday (7 pm Ethio Time).

We return Sunday evening (August 9th) to Grand Rapids International Airport at around 7:45 pm. You (as of now) are invited to welcome us at the airport. If we observe the little miss and discover that it wouldn’t be wise – we will let you know here.

We do hope to update this blog during our stay in Ethiopia, however power outages and spotty internet may occur so we’ll do our best. We’ll be journaling our trip thanks to some friends who gave us a journal that we will eventually give to the little miss when she is older... :)

So our journey takes a big leap tomorrow. Thanks to all of you for your love, support, and encouragement!

Please pray for our three kiddos at home – for peace and safety.
Also pray for our little lady in Ethiopia – that she would be prepared and have peace.
Please pray for my folks and Vicki’s mom who are hanging with them.
Finally pray that we would have safe travels and see God.

Thanks!

Amazing Day with Watermark

2009-07-26T15:55:00.001-04:00

Today we had a “Serve Day” in which we as a church spread to over twenty different sites to serve. It was amazing to see Watermarkers serving and interacting with folks in the community. This was the embodiment of the first part of our mission of “Being the Church.” The church is not merely an organization, program, or building, but the Body of Jesus – the people. So we as a faith family were “Being the Church” and making an ordinary attempt to do Jesus’ work in His way in this place. The best part for me was watching our staff team lead the way and empower Watermarkers to lead. (In other words – I (Steve) did not have to do any organizing, which is out of my ability zone!!!!) Awesome team and awesome day!

Lots of folks gathered around us following our serve time to pray for our family as we gear up to travel to Ethiopia. I thank God that we get to be a part of such an amazing community!

Looking forward to go and be the church in Ethiopia!

Q & A

2009-07-25T11:55:00.001-04:00

When is our trip?
We leave this Wednesday (July 29) and will return Sunday (August 9)

What is the time difference?
In Ethiopia we will be seven hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time.

What is up with the kids while we are gone?
The kiddos will be hanging with family.

How long has our adoption journey been?
In November 2007 we decided to adopt and started the process shortly after.
One year ago today (July 25, 2008) our completed dossier arrived in Ethiopia.
On April 1st we were matched (referral) with a five year old girl.
June 3rd we passed our court date in Ethiopia.
Now – two months later we are traveling to pick up the little miss. :)

Will we keep her name?
Yes – we can’t write her name on here at the moment, but we will be keeping the little miss’ name. It is beautiful and means: “Thankful.”

What will we do in Ethiopia?
We’ll spend time with the little miss as much as we can. We’ll visit orphanages, see the work Bethany Christian Services is doing, learn as much as we can about the country, the culture, and language. We can’t wait to experience Ethiopia.

Are we packed?
For the most part yes – thanks to Vicki! We are bringing donations for the orphanage. T-Shirts, toys, medicine, etc...

What will we do when we get home?
Shut ourselves out from the world, hunker down and spend time together.

What is our biggest prayer need?
That the little miss would be prepared well and have a super natural trust with us during this enormous change she will be experiencing. We will require lots of patience, realistic expectations, and wisdom on how to best help her (and us) deal with this wonderful/difficult time of change. Thanks!

Staying in the Loop

2009-07-22T14:33:00.005-04:00

We are gearing up to travel. As we prepare to go and as we are in Ethiopia we will try to give as many updates as internet availability permits. So keep checking in here if you want the latest info. Thanks to all our family and friends for your support, prayers, and encouragement! We are pumped.

WE GOT IT!!

2009-07-21T17:14:00.004-04:00

We got our freakin' stinkin' travel call!!! We go next week! Yeah! Will post more later.

Getting to know her...

2009-07-15T13:37:00.002-04:00

Today we received some basic information about the little miss. We also received a few more pictures of her. Every little scrap of information is soooo appreciated in times of waiting.

We still hope to find out more about her background and history when we arrive, but for now we thank God for a little reminder that this is actually going to happen. :)

Also - Bethany Christian Services is being highlighted on MTV with their show 16 and Pregnant. Learn more here.

crickets

2009-07-14T13:45:00.002-04:00

silence...
no news on when we might be traveling.

we are trying to be patient and thankful, but it is difficult.

the typical wait time is 4-6 weeks after a successful court date, but unless we get a call saying be here Tuesday - our wait will be 8 weeks... if we go then.

we thought we had a good chance to go for July 7th... nope.
we thought we for sure would go for the 21st of July... not looking like it.

now we are hoping to go for the august 4th date - again - no guarantees.

adoption (as we were told) is filled with bumps and joys - the only thing to plan on is to throw your plan out the window. (isn't that life though?)

we've prayed that we would go when it is best for the little miss...so she may need a little more time and when I have that perspective it is easier because it is about her and not me.

or our paperwork fell behind the file cabinet. :) just kidding.

anyways - today is a great day to thank God for the opportunity to adopt, to have a referral, to have passed a court date, and to have the chance to travel (hopefully soon) - just need to get a new set of expectations.

we have friends who are waiting longer, some without referrals or court dates, others going through difficult things, losing loved ones, and facing all kids of trials and pain - so - i am not gonna whine (i think i did a little already) and i'm gonna pray for them and then just say, "Thy Kingdom Come, Thy will be done, in our family as it is in heaven. Amen."

thanks for following along - God bless

Beloved | From God to you.

2009-07-13T14:42:00.001-04:00

"I have called you by name, from the very beginning. You are mine and I am yours. You are my beloved, on you my favor rests. I have molded you in the depths of the earth and knitted you together in your mother’s womb. I have carved you in the palms of my hands and hidden you in the shadow of my embrace. I look at you with infinite tenderness and care for you with a care more intimate than that of a mother for her child. I have counted every hair on your head and guided you at every step. Wherever you go, I go with you, and wherever you rest, I keep watch. I will give you food that will satisfy all your hunger and drink that will quench all your thirst. I will not hide my face from you. You know me as your own as I know you as my own. You belong to me. I am your father, your mother, your brother, your sister, your lover, and your spouse… yes, even your child… wherever you are I will be. Nothing will ever separate us. We are one.” - Henri Nouwen

Sweet Will, Vic, and Aubs

2009-07-11T22:19:00.004-04:00

Enjoying the summer while we wait for the little miss. We find ourselves looking at life and trying to imagine everything through her five year old eyes... What a new world she will encounter. What an enormous change she will experience. What great quantity of prayer we all will require.

God is bigger.

Summer on Michigan's West Coast

2009-07-09T15:40:00.003-04:00

These pictures remind us of why we love living here... We need to keep this in front of us when there is snow on the ground!

Re-design

2009-07-08T22:24:00.001-04:00

Took a little time to redesign the site. We were able to begin to put some blogs we follow on here as well as other links.

We were hoping to leave this month, but I think it would take a miracle so we are praying for one.

Waiting and Praying

2009-07-07T23:12:00.003-04:00

We are hoping to get a travel call soon... Anxious. Join us in praying that all the paperwork will come back quickly so we can travel and bring the little miss home. Pray also that she will be prepared for the HUGE transition before her.

Hoping and praying to go soon... the usual timing would put us going soon, but there hasn't been a whole lot usual with our journey. :)

Thanks!

Welcome home to Jojo, Bif, and Rediet!

2009-06-26T23:27:00.001-04:00

My sister and husband just got back from Ethiopia with their new daughter Rediet! Looking forward to meeting the little lady!
Congrats and love you guys!!!

Bif and Jojo are a go go.

2009-06-16T07:40:00.003-04:00

My sister and brother in law just got their travel call and so they are off to Ethiopia this weekend for a whirlwind trip to pick up their four year old adopted daughter!

CONGRATS!

Celebrating the little things

2009-06-13T22:16:00.002-04:00

Tonight we received more photos of our little miss in Ethiopia! We got them while my sister and brother in law were over enjoying some of Vicki's excellent Indian food. They also received photos of the little girl they are adopting. How fun to be able to walk through this journey together.

Thanks to Shadley and her hubby for taking the time to take pics! Those make a huge difference during the wait. We look forward to being the one to do that for others...

We feel blessed to have so many great shots of her before even meeting her face to face.

Excited and ready to roll!

Waiting. . . .

2009-06-10T14:44:00.002-04:00

For those following along - we are currently waiting for an embassy date. When we get an embassy date we will travel at that time and pick up our little lady. :)

Our hope is that we will travel in July, but one thing we've learned in this process is that there are no straight lines between deciding to adopt and being united with your child.

Steve is trying to pick up some Amharic and enjoys learning the language. Our little miss knows Amharic as a second language and does not know English so hopefully we'll make some good language connections as we move forward together.

We've started reading a great book dealing with building connections with adoptive children: Parenting your internationally adopted child. So far it's great and a bit overwhelming. Lots of challenges and wonderful adventures ahead!

Thanks for your encouragement, support, and interest.

Tomorrow we have a LIVE webstream

2009-06-06T17:03:00.002-04:00

If you are interested we have a LIVE webstream of our gathering tomorrow. Actually for the next four weeks. You can check it out at LIVE.IAMMARKED at 10 am (Eastern) tomorrow morning.

Going to see some friends (Vredevelds) at the airport tonight. They are returning from Ethiopia with their adoptive son Tariku. :)

I take that back!

2009-06-04T14:21:00.002-04:00

So while I was posting that we haven't heard anything Vicki was chatting with our social worker who informed us that we passed!

I just got done posting the last post and got a call from Vicki telling me and so now I'm telling you.

So - thanks for the prayers and the little miss is coming to Michigan!

Nada

2009-06-04T14:16:00.001-04:00

Our court date was yesterday and we still haven't heard a peep.
Thanks for the prayers gang.

Appreciate prayers for Wednesday.

2009-06-01T18:18:00.002-04:00

This Wednesday, June 3rd, we have our court date in Ethiopia. Someone represents us in Ethiopia and we don't need to be there - for those unfamiliar with the process.

We of course would love to pass our court date the first time, but it isn't too uncommon to have multiple court dates because of a missing piece of paper or another technical issue.

Please join us in praying that we'll pass the first time. Although, as our friend prayed for this today, it really is up to God and His timing and we'll trust Him.

If we pass we may travel within a month to Ethiopia for our Embassy date and to get our little five year old miss.

Also, we received a bunch of photos of her from some folks who traveled. They generously took time out of their trip to spend time with her and take pictures of her. We can not tell you enough about the impact of this kindness. We of course are that much more ready to get there!

Bethany Christian Services :: Global Initiatives

2009-05-30T16:56:00.001-04:00

Proud to be a part of this movement and can't wait to see it first hand!

Excited for our friends

2009-05-26T21:50:00.002-04:00

Some good friends are leaving tomorrow for Ethiopia to pick up the little boy they are adopting. It has been fun to have front row seats of their adoption process and to go through much of it together.

Take a moment and pray that Ryan and Brenda will have a safe trip and their kids back home will be well. Thanks!

Congrats to the Vredevelds! Can't wait to meet the little fella!

Memorial Day & Will the Three year old thrill!

2009-05-25T12:53:00.002-04:00

This morning the three kids and I rode with my dad and grandfather in the Memorial Day Parade in Holland, MI. My grandfather is a WWII vet. It was moving to see so many people honoring veterans and remembering those who had died serving our country.

I was very proud of my grandfather and thankful for all who came out to show honor and respect to those who served.

Sacrifice is inspirational.

We rode in a 1969 Camaro - they don't make cars like that anymore.

Also, today is Willem's 3rd birthday! Happy birthday Will! As we rode through the parade Will said to me, "They are all clapping for me!" I guess he thought we threw together a parade for his birthday.

Good news for my sis and bro-in-law

2009-05-16T00:36:00.002-04:00

Jody and Brian passed their court date for their adoption. This is great news and now they are just waiting to travel. Amazing. Congrats!

Here comes the judge!

2009-05-13T15:28:00.002-04:00

We got word today that our court date in Ethiopia is June 3rd! We appreciate any and all prayers that we pass court on the first try!

Getting closer...

Batter up!

2009-05-05T22:24:00.002-04:00

The boys of summer are back! Our family is a baseball family. Will, our almost three year old, regularly asks, "Tigees win?" Anyways - I wanted to share a little video of Will in the front yard with his Spiderman suit (goes everywhere in it) hitting the ball.

This is how we pass the time waiting for a court date. :)

A Dolly for little Mis!

2009-05-04T14:33:00.002-04:00

I just bought a cute doll from North American Bear. They have a line called culture club kids and they are adorable. They are old fashioned, which I love. Can't wait to give it to our girl.
We also got a new picture of her from a family that traveled last week. What a blessing to see a new picture. She was smiling! Oh, see is so cute! I am getting very excited to bring her home. Hopefully soon!
Here is my dilema: what kind of shoes to wear in ET? I have been looking at Keens on ebay. Not sure if that is the best though. If you have an opinion feel free to share it with me, I just can't decide.
We are thoroughly enjoying the sun. YIPPEE!

Shopping for a little girl is fun!!

2009-04-23T12:25:00.004-04:00

I have been pretty conservative in my purchases, a little here, a little there. Steve gets paid today though, so watch out! Just kidding, I can't do that when The big Dave Ramsey thing is tonight. It will have to wait til maybe Sunday, when his voice is not ringing in our ears.

We did have friends offer bunks for the girls to share, so that will be very helpful. I am not sure how long they will share a room, maybe a year. Autumn will be in middle school in a year and that will be nice for her to have her own room. We wouldn't want to complicate the life of pre-teen girl anymore than it already will be. I do not look back fondly on the pre-teen years, partly because I was not pretty and that is well documented and partly because it just sucks to go through puberty!

We have lots of planning and preparing and blah blah, but really if we could pick her up tomorrow we would and it would be fine.

Please just a shred of something new!

2009-04-17T23:22:00.002-04:00

Since we got our referral for our little miss from Ethiopia we have read and re-read all the information we received about her. Her little round face has gone round and round in our minds. Her photo is on the fridge and looks over us as we eat together.

Now we wait for more information... a court date...

We hope for more pictures... an update... more information... anything.

Any scrap of information is like gold and so we wait.

The Fam is Expanding!

2009-04-17T23:16:00.004-04:00

Well - we recently received amazing news that my sister and her husband received a referral for a girl around four to five years old from Ethiopia. We are so excited for them and are also thankful that our adoptive daughter and their's will have each other as they are a similar age.

So that will make three new grandkids for my folks in 2009 thanks to my new nephew Griffin in Arizona and now another precious little lady from Ethiopia!

No April Fools - Referral

2009-04-01T19:44:00.004-04:00

Well today I almost joked to my kids that we got a referral and then proclaim "April fools!" It didn't seem appropriate, but a referral seemed like it would never come. Instead I told them we bought a Wii. They didn't like the joke.

A half hour after my Wii joke we got the phone call from our most epic social worker and a follow up email with the amazing news that we have been matched to a precious five year old girl. Her name means "Thankful." We are thankful for the opportunity to call her daughter and sister. We pray that God would bless her and comfort her in the midst of so many changes in her short life.

Along this journey we have been praying that God would match us with the child of His choice. What child needed us? What child did we need? What child needed to be in our family to become the family God created us to be? So we prayed and waited and felt some bumps on the way and even wondered if it would ever happen, but we continued to pray that God would bring the right child at the right time.

Today we got the answer and for that we are overwhelmed with gratitude to God and humbled. God, may we trust in You. Make us into the family you would have us be.

Psalm 78:2-4

2 I will open my mouth in parables,
I will utter hidden things, things from of old-

3 what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.

4 We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
his power, and the wonders he has done.

Hapy Anniversary

2009-03-20T23:17:00.003-04:00

Today we received our Bethany Home-study renewal/update letter. This means it has roughly been a year since our home study was completed. We've got to update some information. This isn't the kind of anniversary you celebrate and another reminder that waiting is hard.

In other news: we are all trying to avoid the sickness that has hit our home.

Have a great day!

Potty Time!!!

2009-03-14T09:38:00.001-04:00

YIPPEE!! Willem, has decided to pee and poop on the potty.
Welcome to the club dude!

Happy Birthday, Congrats, & Adjust

2009-03-09T00:06:00.002-04:00

Harrison, our middle guy, just turned six. Vicki helped plan, communicate, and execute a great party for him with school friends in less than 24 hours. So Happy Birthday Harrison - be strong and courageous!

Congrats to close friends of ours who recently received a referral for a precious little one year old fella from Ethiopia. We are excited for them - congrats and love you guys!

We decided to adjust the age range of our adoption preference. We had been open before to adopting a child between 4-5 (between our boys) and after some different circumstances decided to more officially pursue that. So we are hoping to adopt a child younger than Will (almost three) or a bit older than Will (four-five).

we'll see what God has in store.

Thanks to those who commented and have encouraged us in this process - especially lately.

Trusting when you don't get what you want...

2009-03-03T11:02:00.002-05:00

Today I read a verse that I really needed to read. It comes from Matthew 20:22. The story around it involves a mom and her two boys. She wants to see her two boys get ahead - to be in power - to be important. (What parent doesn't want this for their children?) She humbly kneels before Jesus and makes the ask.

Jesus responds, "You don't know what you are asking."

She came with her plan. Jesus told her she didn't have the whole picture.

When plans don't go as you believe they should it is normal to feel anger, resentment, hurt, loss, fear, and a unfairness.

I am not sure what this woman felt as Jesus explained the bigger picture, but I know for Vicki and I we have felt these things lately.

Vicki and I felt God leading us strongly in a direction and we began to walk the process. We knelt before Him and asked for the plan to happen - only for Him to say, "You don't know what you are asking." You don't have the whole picture... no.

Ouch.

Can I say it again - ouch!

This verse today was a reminder that as we face loss or pain - Jesus has the whole picture and the dude loves us.

Trust is most difficult and most needed when you don't get what you want.

So - we again choose to trust that God knows best.

But still.... OUCH!

As we worshiped Sunday with our amazing church family I kept remembering that although Vicki and I may at times feel hurt or rejection in this whole adoption process (and life for that matter!) - God chose us - He adopted us - He came to us and got us and picked us up and took us home.

We are loved and our Daddy knows what is best so we trust Him.

Steve

Praying, praying, praying

2009-02-17T21:07:00.002-05:00

What else can we do? We just gotta keep praying for the child that is yet to be a Deur. We know that God knows who she is and where she is. He knows the number of hairs on her head and what losses she has already experienced in her little life. Oh, I can't wait to share with you all the exciting news of our next child! Someday soon!

Have I mentioned how much we love our Social Worker, Sara? She is the best! She always checks in just when we need to hear from her. She follows through when we ask her a question. She just knows us real well and we appreciate her so much. I just know God worked it out for her to be our SW. Sara, you are the best and we love you for so many reasons!

iloved ilove

2009-02-10T11:58:00.002-05:00

Wow - we had an outstanding night at our benefit date night, February 6th!

We were blown away by the love and support we felt from our friends who helped make the evening happen, who committed to pray for our adoption journey, and the funds raised to help the cause.

A special thank you to all for your amazing support! We are truly humbled and overwhelmed by your kindness.

People have wondered about the funds we were able to raise for the cause...

The benefit raised $6,000! This was far more than anticipated and makes a significant difference. $600 of that going into a church grant to help others in Watermark Church get started in the adoption process.

THANKS to all who served, who came, who prayed, who gave, and who may be starting their own journey in adoption.

We will continue to keep you updated.

Thanks again and may God bless you.

I love Jane Austen!

2009-01-31T23:05:00.004-05:00

I don't know how but Jane Austen has described my daughter to a tee! This is an excerpt from "Northanger Abby":

"Writing and accounts she was taught by her Father; French by her Mother. Her proficiency in either was not remarkable, and she shirked her lessons in both whenever she could. What a strange unaccountable character! for with all these symptoms of profligacy at ten years old, she had neither a bad heart nor a bad temper, was seldom stubborn, scarcely ever quarrelsome, and very kind to the little ones, with few interruptions of tyranny. She was, moreover, noisy and wild, hated confinement and cleanliness, and loved nothing so well in the world as rolling down the green slope at the back of the house."

That is my girl and I love her so much!

Thank you Jane for putting into words what I could not.

ilove

2009-01-24T16:47:00.002-05:00

ilove benefit date night : Friday, February 6th from 7-8:30 pm at Spring Lake Wesleyan.
Dan Seaborn, music, desserts, and more!
Free with an opportunity to contribute.
RSVP at svdeur@gmail.com
Learn about our adoption story here.

Join us for this night with the one you love to benefit orphans.

It's hard to ask for help.

2009-01-24T16:25:00.002-05:00

I am not good at asking for help. I often do things myself instead of allowing others to get involved. I like to think of it as coming from a good work ethic and a selfless spirit. However, I think most of the time it comes from good old fashioned pride.

Asking for help requires an acknowledgment that you need help in the first place. This is admitting that I can't do it on my own - that I lack - that I don't have it all together. This is hard.

Asking for help also opens emotions inside me that make me feel uncomfortable. Grace is a word that I can teach on from the Bible, but have such a difficulty living in. When someone helps me I immediately respond by trying to figure out how I can help them back. Internally I feel that I owe them something. I also find myself having feelings of deep gratitude and I struggle sharing deep appreciation because it requires a level of emotional connection that I avoid.

So, why this contemplative post? Well - through this adoption journey - we have been incredibly blessed by friends and family who have prayed for us, asked us for updates, and have supported us. We have had people step up to give a helping hand without us asking. We have experienced folks responding to a request by going above and beyond. We have been blessed by the people in our lives and their affirmation.

Through this journey I am learning that people want to help, want to contribute, want to get involved and when I immediately say, "no thanks - we've got it covered..." I may be robbing someone from a moment of joy and I am lying. (wow - that's true and hard to admit.)

Anyways - thanks to our family and friends for walking the journey with us. Thanks to those who are helping make our benefit date night happen! Thanks to those who love us. We don't have everything covered and we do need you. I can admit that now. Thanks.

Vicki is much better at this than me.
- Steve

ilove RSVP

2009-01-20T20:42:00.003-05:00

If you are planning on participating in our benefit date night on February 6th from 7-8:30 pm at Spring Lake Wesleyan. Please RSVP to us at svdeur@gmail.com.

Some of the great desserts being offered are: French Silk, Red Velvet, Carrot Cake, Turtle Cheesecake, Plain Cheesecake, & Apple Pie.

Fat Chix is providing the coffee!

Dan Seaborn from Winning At Home is our speaker.

A couple weeks away! Should be fun!

It's all coming together!!

2009-01-19T21:55:00.002-05:00

Our family life is coming back around. We have all been through the flu, except me, Vicki(thank you airborne).
Harrison went back to school today following his week off after surgery. He is doing awesome. He will have his post op tomorrow and testing by the audiologist. He is complaining a lot about things being too loud( mainly his sister), hurting his ears. That is a good sign for the boy!
Many of the details for our benefit are coming together really quick and easy. I am amazed at the generosity and helpfulness of my friends. They are truly a blessing. I have always felt that I have great friends and it has been confirmed over and over. We have had many donations for supplies for the night, which is just awesome. We have a group of women willing to serve on the night. It is just all coming together!!
Our weight loss adventure has been interesting! I have lost more weight than Steve, which is really unheard of in our life. He started swimming so it is a matter of time before he surpasses me. This week, I have to say has not been easy. I am tired, which means I just want to eat chocolate. I'm working through it though, have not given in. I love my powerflex class at the YMCA. It kicks my butt every time but I feel great when I'm done and I can tell it is working. I'm a little wobbly on the lunges but I'm improving. It has been a good thing for us.
One more great thing, I cleaned and organized the drawers that hold our home office. We do not have a home office, rather an antique chest of drawers that holds all our stuff. It is now nice to look at inside and out. Autumn has always had a spot for school papers in one of the drawers and now Harrison has a spot for his kinde stuff. Willem does not have spot yet. What would he put in? His spidey costume, his spidey action figure, his spidey slippers. He's gonna have to wait til kinde to get a spot. Sorry Will!

We are feeling very blessed these days! Now, if only we could get our referral!! All in good time, right?!

ilove :: benefit date night

2009-01-08T12:02:00.002-05:00

We are hosting a benefit date night on Friday, February 6th from 7-8:30 pm at Spring Lake Wesleyan Church.

The event will feature:
> Great music
> Fabulous desserts
> Inspirational teaching from Dan Seaborn
> Lots of fun!!

The purpose of the event is to support our adoption and raise funds to begin an adoption grant. The evening is free, but people will have an opportunity to contribute to the cause.

RSVP: svdeur@gmail.com

Map to Spring Lake Wesleyan.

Wow, it's been awhile, sorry!!

2009-01-05T19:01:00.003-05:00

We had a great holiday season.
So far three of the five in our family have gotten the puke flu, just waiting for the girls (me and Autumn) to fall. Not sure what the collateral damage will be, i.e. friends and family, Sorry to you all!!

Harrison has surgery on Fri. I am hopeful that it will be smooth and easy. He was very brave when he had his blood drawn. So I am hoping that is an indication of how he will cope with surgery. We will see.

Steve and I started a weight loss adventure. I think we are both ready for it after all the crap we ate during the holidays. We got a blender so we have been doing lots of protein smoothies. We really like them, they may be the key for us to survive this endeavour. I start a weight training class on Tue. with my friend Kelly, that should be fun. We'll let you know!!

Nothing new with the adoption, just happily waiting.
Look for your invitation to our fund raiser on Feb. 6. We got a lot to do!!
Happy New Year!!

Movin' On Up!!

2008-12-11T21:55:00.002-05:00

Today several families received their referral. That is so exciting. More children get families and more families get children. On a side note, we get to move up on the list. What's our number on the list, not sure, but I am encouraged!

Hmmmm..

2008-12-07T21:59:00.003-05:00

So what's new? Not much here.
We have set a date for our orphan benefit night. Feb. 6, mark your calendars! We've got some fun stuff planned, good door prizes and fabulous desserts. You want to be there! We will let you know the details in the future. Like you are even thinking of February right now.
More babies came home from ET. That is very exciting for us all! These kids are so darn cute.
I looked up flights for us. Just to see what we're looking at. Yeah, no coupons for flights to ET!! I think it would be cool to have a nice long layover, on the way over, in Rome or Germany or Amsterdam. Maybe a quick tour or something. I know, it's maybe stupid to try and work that in. I don't think Steve will even want try to figure it out. I probably really don't either, but it sounds good now. I'm dreamin'. A girl can dream can't she?

Today is World AIDS Day

2008-12-01T10:13:00.004-05:00

Last year at this time we remembered World AIDS Day in Johannesburg, South Africa. While we were there we met this little family in a township. These little kids had recently lost both of their parents to AIDS. Their grandmother was now caring for them.

Today we remember, we pray, and we get involved.

On this day I remember these kids and their parents.

To get involved in bringing hope and life:
Vox United
World Vision

It is past time for the church to "show up."
sd

PS - I am the church.

Thoughts from Autumn

2008-11-28T13:03:00.004-05:00

Hi, I'm Autumn. My family is adopting a baby from Ethiopia. I can't wait until we get to see the baby, play with the baby and hold the baby! I can't wait until we get our referral to see what our baby looks like.

By Autumn

A little anxious...

2008-11-26T22:19:00.002-05:00

Darn it!!! I am getting a little anxious, for the first time, about waiting for our child. I just feel like I want things to get moving. UGH!! It is not good to be feeling this when we are still far from referral. I am sure it will pass.
You know what started it? It was running in to a family at Walmart with their ET boys. They are so cute, I want to scoop 'em up! It was seeing them in normal life and the reality that that will be us just got me excited.
I always feel better when other people get their referral, so hopefully soon some others will be getting their call. I can live vicariously through them.
I have been thinking lately about where our child may be right now. Are they with their Mom still? Is Mom pregnant? Are they in the orphanage? What is happening in the life of our little child? They are most likely facing things I can't even comprehend: hunger, grief or loneliness. So I pray for my child, the parents and the caregivers.

The H Bomb

2008-11-22T13:04:00.002-05:00

My son H (as we call him) will have to have tubes in his ears, his tonsils and adenoids removed. Poor thing! That seems like a lot for a 5 year old. Maybe it's a lot for the Mother of the 5 year old. I am a total wus when it comes to stuff with my kids. Steve always had to take them to their shots. I can't deal!
This will be very good for him as he struggles to hear, snores something fierce and a little apnea to top it off. I look forward to not yelling at him on a daily basis. It gets old when you have to yell "How was your day?", "What do you want for lunch?" It is hard to talk, so he can hear, and not sound frustrated. Jan. 9, feel free to pray for the H Bomb or his Mom.

One Word...

2008-11-17T22:05:00.001-05:00

SNOW!

Remember the Orphan night!

2008-11-14T09:19:00.003-05:00

Last night we had the "Remember the Orphan" benefit concert and it was a lot of fun and a meaningful time of hearing God's heart for the orphan.

The Fisher family who originated the idea and generously invited us to participate shared about the evening and the results here.

Thanks to those who prayed and came!

Next Bookclub...

2008-11-12T22:20:00.002-05:00

I just got home from one of my favourite nights of the month, my book club. I love it, the girls are awesome, the discussion is great, the books have all been great and I just love it!! We scheduled our next meeting for Jan. 14, we skip Dec. since it is a crazy time. It is fun to think we could be getting our referral around that time, just maybe. That would rock to be able to come to book club with a picture of our child. I think Jan 14 is a little soon for a referral but it is fun to think about.

Incidently our next book is "Memory Keeper's Daughter". Sarah, we are finally reading it! I have heard it is great, so I am excited to get started!

I have been preparing for our Ethiopia trip by training myself to drink coffee, not a mocha or a cappuccino but real coffee. It is customary to have a coffee ceremony when visiting someone's home in ET. I have been nervous about this because I don't drink coffee and I don't want to offend. So I am in training. I have to say I have had 3 cups today and I love it. Something has switched on in my brain (like potty training) and it is fabulous!! Now, I still have to doctor it up a bit but I think I will be fine to drink the coffee they serve in Ethiopia. One more thing off my to do list!

2008-11-08T21:50:00.002-05:00

Here we are, me and Steve, and I am in control of the mistress(laptop)!! We have been huge slackers with the blog, Sorry. Steve would like me to tell you all how much I love him. Yadda, Yadda, I love him, I love him alot!! He would also like you all to know how beautiful, awesome, cool, funny, amazing and gorgeous I am! Okay, maybe I took liberties with that.

I got my immunizations, it was great because they were cheap and I had a coupon! Just kidding! They were not cheap, no coupon and not great! I have survived the ordeal, still gotta do Typhoid, that'll come eventually.

We are going to start an adoption/orphan fund in our church and are planning a benefit night to seed that fund. I love to plan events like this. Steve and I spent a night brainstorming and it was so fun. He thought of a great idea for a logo. I think we will do it around Valentine's Day so it can be a fun lovey theme. I am sure all of my friends can't wait to hear what I have planned for them to do. Our friend Ryan V. was gonna share a song with us, he is a bricklayer but he can sure belt out a tune! He really can't sing and he doesn't read our blog so I can pretty much say whatever I want about him! Anyways, look for your invite, hopefully it will come at least two days before the event. I can't promise much more notice than that!

I attended an adoption tea this morning and it was a nice time. These kind of events, the Bethany forums and all the blogs are what get me through the waiting. I love to hear the stories and see the lives that have been impacted by adoption. One woman shared how her Mom was adopted, her brothers were adopted and she had adopted. I get excited thinking that we are beginning a legacy of adoption in our family. That generations to come will follow in our footsteps. I could have grandbabies that are adopted. That is cool!!
That is about all for now, hopefully we will be back soon.

Remember the Orphan Concert

2008-10-16T20:28:00.002-04:00

Remember. The. Orphan. Peder Eide benefit concert

Thursday, November 13, at Fellowship Reformed Church in Hudsonville, MI at 7;00p.m. a special event is taking place involving five area families each adopting from Ethiopia, (including us!) This event will also include national singer-songwriter & speaker Peder Eide, Bethany Christian Services & Compassion International staff.

We will be joining together this evening for a time of praise, worship and to raise awareness about the needs of the orphans in the world. Everyone is welcome! There will be an opportunity for you to make a difference.

You are invited.

Fine Lines and Wrinkles? No Way!!

2008-10-15T13:10:00.005-04:00

So I've been in touch with a few people who I haven't seen since High School on Facebook. Gotta love Facebook. They have all commented that I haven't changed a bit. Now, I think they mean this as a compliment, or do they? Am I stuck in a time warp of 1991? (yes, I am old, we have already established that) Is my hair style out of date or are my clothing choices a little daggy? Dang it!! I really hope not. I am happy, for the most part, with my hair and clothing. I am open, however, if any of you need to speak the truth in love to me.

What does this have to do our adoption, you might ask. Well, I think this is just all apart of the emotional roller coaster that is adoption. Now I am self conscious about how I look. UGH! Actually, I don't think it has to do with the emotions of adoption. It is just the emotional roller coaster that is Vicki Deur.

Assuming my High School friends were being kind I have a theory about why I look the same. Here Goes: chubby cheeks/fat face fill out and smooth down any fine line or wrinkle! That's it. Its gotta be why. So some advice for all you people worried about wrinkles, gain some poundage and smooth it all out!!

I do have an update of sorts on the adoption. We have been waiting nearly 3 months. The waiting has not been too bad. We really need Will the thrill (our 2 year old) to mature some before the next child arrives. He is a little stuck to me so we need him to start sticking to Steve more. Poor Will he's got a lot to do over the next few months.
More families from Bethany got referrals today. WOOHOO! That is always so exciting for me. It means we are getting closer and more kids are finding their forever families!

Just Checking in

2008-10-03T13:49:00.004-04:00

Today is my Honey's (Steve) Birthday!! I am so thankful for him! He's my honey, my baby, a big stud. Yes, we are dorks! We are going away for our anniversary this weekend! WooHoo! 14 years, yes, we are not only dorks but we are old!

I just heard some very sad news of a family waiting to go pick up their adoptive child in another country and the baby boy died. My heart breaks for this family, please be praying for them. This tragedy brings me back to losses we have experienced in our life, similar but not really. We miscarried one child before Autumn was born and then again before Willem was born. I think before I had experienced these losses I did not understand or appreciate the blindsiding pain involved. God knits us together so uniquely and intimately that even though I had not met or seen my babies, I was(and still am) still hopelessly in love with them. I can't explain it, it is just how it works. I don't get why these things happen or why we have to feel pain but I know that in those moments of grief God has never been more real to me. I remember feeling sheltered and loved by God, like the verse in Psalm 91 "he will cover you with his feathers". I did not feel alone. We had lots of love and support from family and friends but the most meaningful was sharing our loss with dear friends who had also lost a child. We are forever connected with this family because of our common grief. The list of women who I have had the opportunity to love on and pray for in the midst of this kind of loss continues to grow. I cry every time I hear a new story because I know, know, know how they are feeling. So I sit here weeping again (which stinks because I actually put on mascara today) as I mourn with this family. Thanks for listening or reading. I might need a nap now. Vicki

Could it be?

2008-09-22T20:50:00.004-04:00

Okay, here goes my first post on the blog!!
I don't now how common this is for women who are adopting, but darn it, I FEEL PREGNANT! I am not, but I am surprised every month when it is confirmed that I am not. It is so weird, it's kinda physical and emotional.
Uh-oh. What if it's the change! I am only 35.
I really don't think it's the change. My theory is that this is how God can connect us with each other. How I can already feel a real connection to my child that is living in Ethiopia.
I don't feel any kicking though, that's just the burrito I ate last night. Maybe this is too personal for a blog, but when you're pregnant you don't always have your wits about you! Oh dear, what if I start lactating...
I might have to post more, Vicki