Just Checking in

Today is my Honey's (Steve) Birthday!! I am so thankful for him! He's my honey, my baby, a big stud. Yes, we are dorks! We are going away for our anniversary this weekend! WooHoo! 14 years, yes, we are not only dorks but we are old!

I just heard some very sad news of a family waiting to go pick up their adoptive child in another country and the baby boy died. My heart breaks for this family, please be praying for them. This tragedy brings me back to losses we have experienced in our life, similar but not really. We miscarried one child before Autumn was born and then again before Willem was born. I think before I had experienced these losses I did not understand or appreciate the blindsiding pain involved. God knits us together so uniquely and intimately that even though I had not met or seen my babies, I was(and still am) still hopelessly in love with them. I can't explain it, it is just how it works. I don't get why these things happen or why we have to feel pain but I know that in those moments of grief God has never been more real to me. I remember feeling sheltered and loved by God, like the verse in Psalm 91 "he will cover you with his feathers". I did not feel alone. We had lots of love and support from family and friends but the most meaningful was sharing our loss with dear friends who had also lost a child. We are forever connected with this family because of our common grief. The list of women who I have had the opportunity to love on and pray for in the midst of this kind of loss continues to grow. I cry every time I hear a new story because I know, know, know how they are feeling. So I sit here weeping again (which stinks because I actually put on mascara today) as I mourn with this family. Thanks for listening or reading. I might need a nap now. Vicki